actor/writer from Midwestern U.S., married to Sarah Thyre, father of 1
Seems weird to me that George Zimmerman's lawyers are now saying that he'd be justified in shooting Amanda Bynes
My kids said the robot voice in the bridge of "Get Lucky" sounds like "we'll rub a Mexican monkey" & now I can't hear it any other way
My new financial advisor is great, but his wife doesn't say much. http://t.co/sr3Uj1bYfo
RT @RobinMcCauley: Do people who say, "Exercise helps me relax" know about not exercising?
Watching tonight's #hannibal. If this show was the world, every paper's aheadline would be "EVERYTHING HAS GONE APESHIT BANANAS"
ATTENTION HOLLYWOOD: Any producers needing music for main characters' first kiss, my song "Welcome to Boner City" is still available.
Is there a big Black tennis-themed drag queen named Penis Williams yet? There should be.
RT @NicCageMatch: Tour of my apartment ends at the bedroom, I open the door & say "and this is where the tragic happens."
Guy at salad bar uses chicken tongs to serve himself tuna and THEN PLACES TONGS BACK IN THE CHICKEN. IOW, my new enemy has shown his face.