actor/writer from Midwestern U.S., married to Sarah Thyre, father of 1
If you want to play a game with me, let's just save time and say you won.
RT @NotTildaSwinton: Uncoil from a tree branch and silently lower yourself on a creature of prey. Instead of attacking, whisper "You are sa…
Lying by the pool, 7yo daughter takes off swimsuit bottoms, resumes sunbathing. "This is France," she says.
Behind service desk at groc. store. In my day, our Cultural Council leveraged itself! http://t.co/UG96rqynIP
It's sad to think that after I die my family will have to live on with empty toilet paper tubes by every toilet forever
Didn't Trekkies used to insist that they be called Trekkers? So tragic when a put-upon minority gives up & submits to its persecution.
I liked the new Star Trek movie until they got to a scene in a hospital & THERE WERE GODDAMNED ROLLER BLINDS IN THE WINDOW! I CALL BULLSHIT!
Few yrs ago thought it would be fun to have a parrot, but now he's just one more asshole yelling at me
RT @batsly: How I found out about your dental practice is none of your god damn business
RT @ceejoyner: Throw a baby badger so high that when it lands on your enemy it's fully grown and very upset. You left town years ago. The p…