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How to sound like you're speaking a foreign language. http://t.co/R7AKRMNg
RT @JohnFugelsang: You know you're tired when you need a coffee to be awake enough to meet someone for coffee.
I love cupcakes but can't someone start making cup pies too?
I think I just saw a UFO fly past the full moon. Or my crazy neighbor is throwing plates again.
Filmmakers, my dear friend, @vashikoo Voted to the "10 Filmmaking Blogs You Should Be Reading." http://t.co/QnGs2wNFZH
#tgif I remember when that meant: Thank goodness it's FullHouse, 8pm Friday nights on ABC.
You have to fill out more paperwork when buying a car than when you have a child. @tempeimprov
RT @melissabring: If you appreciate a good #docu then please take 2 min to watch #strippeddocu - please RT http://t.co/6rSkmzimLX
@McDonalds may name a new apple pie after all the @DetroitRedWings turnovers. Puck possession! Go Wings!
I've heard farts & seen feathers but no fart feathers! RT @SarahKSilverman 2 Hey fart feathers,I'll be at @Just_For_Laughs in Montreal in July
I'm turning in to my dad. I just pulled my own finger. @tempeimprov May 31 - June 2. http://t.co/a7rb3YSBre
Right here @tempeimprov RT @A_BrAndNeWCHiCK Whatever happened to predictibility,the milkman,the paperboy,evening TV. http://t.co/DaOowYdYZS
I'll see your "Woo hoo!!!" and raise you one! RT @Amyers0711 @tempeimprov Woo hoo!!! http://t.co/DaOowYdYZS
I'll see your "Woo hoo!!!" and raise you one! RT @Amyers07111h @tempeimprov Woo hoo!!! http://t.co/DaOowYdYZS
Full House fans! Standup comedy fans! I'm in Phoenix next week May 31-Jun 2 @tempeimprov All tour dates here: http://t.co/DaOowYdYZS
Cut It Out! http://t.co/fwRsvZQ58N
Mary Kate and Ashley...I'm so sorry. http://t.co/lngCJoOV01
And I meant to add: ...and just watch @DetroitRedWings games.
Somedays, I feel so lazy that I just wish I could walk around in my underpants all day.
@michaelrollings Text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross Disaster relief.Text FOOD to 32333 donate $10 Oklahoma City Food Bank
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