The things that people call 'impossible' are simply the things they h1
Things that aren't a cult, but make people act like they're in a cult: 1) CrossFit 2) Being Vegan 3) Netflix
I've been studying humanity for a while now, and I've gotta say -- I don't get it.
OH: "I was talking to my wi... my w... the mother of my kids, and..." Sensing there's a story there!
Sorry, I think you misunderstood me. When I said "wake up early & go to the gym," I MEANT "haha NO. *snooze*"
What David doesn't realize is we replaced his usual brand of coffee with a coma.
I just ended a voice message by saying "thank." So, apparently my brain has just plain given up.
S.E.T.I. receives historic first signal: "take me to you're leader." We reply "YOUR, not YOU'RE." The aliens blow us up.
Diamonds are forever, but so is the Internet. So this Christmas, save money & give the person you love the Internet.
Need to look like a baller to impress a girl? Simple! Take her with you to buy gas.
Oh, trust me. I know how it's SUPPOSED to be pronounced. I just don't trust my mouth to say it.
Put random words together & try to figure out if it's an invention or a band name: "potato chip tap dancing" "foot eulogy"