I like people to know when I'm drinking coffee, so I joined Twitter.
Ever since discovering the girl Sea Monkey, in real life, wasn't at all hot, life has been a series of progressive disappointments.
Whenever I want a creative inspiration I smell fresh Play-Doh, the best scent in the world. http://t.co/arq4g2Z0ni
People are all excited about the new Daft Punk album, but I can't wait for the new Crucifictorious release.
I just took a 2 1/2 hour sexual harassment seminar learned the term "overhugging" which is both extremely creepy and my favorite new word.
I just took a 2 1/2 hour sexual harassment and learned the term "overhugging" which is both extremely creepy and my favorite new word.
Moments of grace in hard times- woman finds her dog in the tornado aftermath - http://t.co/p1FLoNwRFE Text REDCROSS to 90999 to give $10
My heart is with Oklahoma. Love to you all. Please text REDCROSS to 90999 to give $10.
I think my dog might be a drug addict. Advice needed. http://t.co/MMmEXx2lOf
Yahoo bought Tumblr for 1.1 billion. Next they'll get Ask Jeeves for a clean 2.
The grammar in #WhenISeeAObamaBumperSticker trending hashtag kind of says it all, doesn't it?
Please welcome my pal @GreggHenry88 - Mayor Jack MacReady from Slither & Detective John Felkner from SUPER - to Twitter!
For all of you who are tweeting me in English, please use English. It would be appreciated.
Grateful for the view outside my window as I work from home today - http://t.co/BhtBr16oXG
Happy to welcome to Twitter the man who I owe more of my career than almost any other, the great @JossActual