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Jen Kirkman
@JenKirkman
Author of I Can Barely Take Care of Myself.. Order here: http://jenki1
If you hold up a twenty dollar bill to the light to "check it" you might as well scream in public, "I am a huge, overly careful dork!"
The only time not being married sucks is at night when you think your dead nana is haunting your new apartment through a picture collage.
My friend @morgan_murphy 57 is very funny & did a great show tonight. Go see her sometime. (See her do standup, don't show up at her house.)
Just recorded new episode of my podcast coming Wednesday. Get 1st two eps now. - I Seem Fun... ...... - http://t.co/QD0DbX1ieM #iTunes
Positive energy!! Hanging with @brodyismefriend and @morgan_murphy 57 before her comedy taping at… http://t.co/t3mvCvPxya
"In 2013 when computers are portable, men will still ask women purposely dining alone if they're okay."-an accurate psychic from the 1970's.
"In 2013 when computers are portable, men will still ask women happily dining alone if they are okay."-an accurate psychic from the 1970's.
Just cuz I'm a feminist doesn't mean I don't wanna trip the drunk girl I just heard who squeaked to her friend, "We're sooo silly together!"
Having so much fun at the Cannes Flint Festival! #itrocks
RT @ringostarrmusic: I am having trouble tweeting peace and love
Toronto. I am going through Customs for you. Please show up. Fri/Sat June 7&8. Comedy Bar. Tix on sale now. http://t.co/ZsO4RGuiB2
Gathering now the support I'll need for my anticipated post "Behind the Candelabra" depression. I already don't want the movie to be over.
Guy approaches me the other night nervous to meet me. He said, "Wow! You're from Beetlejuice!" Oh. I still count that as getting recognized.
RT @cynccafl: @JenKirkman Finished book. Hilarious & relatable. Thank you from 40 yr old w/an IUD who married a man w/a vasectomy. Not taki…
Ugh these $100 bills aren't crispy enough. Just gonna toss them out.
Seattle. I'm at REBAR May 31st. 1 show. Holds 150 folks only. Half sold. Don't delay. Details/tix here: http://t.co/V1ItpAmWxa pass it on!!
The winner of my contest for my Seattle show has been chosen. The rest of ya, get tickets for Friday May 31st! REBAR http://t.co/V1ItpAmWxa
@Jmkrochester aw thanks Jarrod! Welcome to my world
RT @rafperez3: @JenKirkman You're gonna keep me company on my road trip to SLC, UT tomorrow. Thx! http://t.co/Yd5ILVIJVB
Small talk should be like plastic bags--- banned unless you really want it and then it's five cents.
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