Author of I Can Barely Take Care of Myself.. Order here: http://jenki1
If you hold up a twenty dollar bill to the light to "check it" you might as well scream in public, "I am a huge, overly careful dork!"
The only time not being married sucks is at night when you think your dead nana is haunting your new apartment through a picture collage.
"In 2013 when computers are portable, men will still ask women purposely dining alone if they're okay."-an accurate psychic from the 1970's.
"In 2013 when computers are portable, men will still ask women happily dining alone if they are okay."-an accurate psychic from the 1970's.
Just cuz I'm a feminist doesn't mean I don't wanna trip the drunk girl I just heard who squeaked to her friend, "We're sooo silly together!"
Toronto. I am going through Customs for you. Please show up. Fri/Sat June 7&8. Comedy Bar. Tix on sale now. http://t.co/ZsO4RGuiB2
Gathering now the support I'll need for my anticipated post "Behind the Candelabra" depression. I already don't want the movie to be over.
Guy approaches me the other night nervous to meet me. He said, "Wow! You're from Beetlejuice!" Oh. I still count that as getting recognized.
Ugh these $100 bills aren't crispy enough. Just gonna toss them out.
Seattle. I'm at REBAR May 31st. 1 show. Holds 150 folks only. Half sold. Don't delay. Details/tix here: http://t.co/V1ItpAmWxa pass it on!!
The winner of my contest for my Seattle show has been chosen. The rest of ya, get tickets for Friday May 31st! REBAR http://t.co/V1ItpAmWxa
Small talk should be like plastic bags--- banned unless you really want it and then it's five cents.