I'm happily retired from showbiz; enjoying our cats, horses, cows, an1
She asked her doctor if his 30-minute vaginal exam was really necessary, and he said, "Hey, lady, who's the chiropractor here, me or you?"
Some day Taylor Swift will meet a man who treats her well; she'll find a level of happiness that will totally wreck her songwriting career.
Thank you for looking into the eyes of a 17 year old about to leave home and telling her you believed she could make it. Rest in peace, Dad.
Think back to a time when we didn't worry about gas mileage, carbon emissions... nothing on our minds but living well http://t.co/oMv0cVP9GD
A congressman went to his office yesterday, worked 14 hrs. trying to help the people of his district, unselfishly, and... oh I made that up.
I think any guy that gets Adele or Taylor Swift mad enough to write a hit record should be entitled to at least 10% of the royalties.
I think all of Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends need to get together and hire themselves a good songwriter.
Animal Planet's new sports fishing show promises to find "America's #1 Hooker." Just what we needed, more prime time TV for the Kardashians.
Over-easy eggs on toasted wheat bread with garlic and onions and a Keurig cup of Italian coffee! Great start today! http://t.co/NLjVwAsjbC
It's a good thing Adele and Taylor Swift aren't dating. Imagine if they broke up.
This may explain why I was totally snubbed by him when I worked all night answering phones on his Telethon one year. http://t.co/wJnGL7Jhgz
Human thought is an immeasurably powerful force. Everything that happens always starts as an idea in someone's head. Think positively.
I was married to a tree surgeon who wrapped me in firs, but when he decided to branch out and bark up the wrong tree, I decided to leaf him.