Just went to Monticello. Man, Jefferson did everything! He was like James Franco, but with slaves! #almost saiddonaldgloverbuttheslavething
Venezuela claims it's short 40 million rolls of toilet paper. Hopefully it can reach under the stall and borrow some from Colombia.
I want to thank @RepGwenMoore for riding along on my Invisible Harley. Next year, we're going to Imaginary Sturgis.
2NITE: I Better Know Milwaukee, the NYC of Wisconsin if the Big Apple were deep fried and smothered in cheddar sauce. @ColbertReport 11:30pm
Can I get a spellcheck on "wahoowa"? MSWord thinks I'm trying to spell "washbowl"!
Maxim's Hot 100 List is bogus. Some of those girls look WAY younger than 100.
My guest @AuthorDanBrown sez any bestseller needs a chase. U hear that, Hwy Patrolman Clark? I was just giving U a book idea! TCR, 11:30pm
I found out about the IRS's shameful behavior on the catamaran that's my home office.
New UN report says edible insects could solve world hunger. May already be working--my appetite just vanished.
2NITE! "Congress spent last week debating whether they're 'deadlocked' or 'gridlocked' until they finally reached a stalemate." TCR, 11:30pm
If I had my druthers, I'd have someone explain to me what 'druthers' are.
Can't believe former Poet Laureate @RobertPinsky asked me to prom. I totally thought he was going with Maya Angelou.
Another epic Prom-Posal coming at you: Stacy, will you go to prom with Rick? (Odds are that applies to someone.)
Watching that footage of the burning car in Benghazi makes me nostalgic for my old Gremlin.
Only 3 more days till we find out: THE GREAT GATSBY...or THE GREATEST GATSBY? #cOlbertsBookClub