Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, an1
What happened to the man who stole the advent calendar? He got 25 days. #ClassicJokeWednesday
Happy birthday, @xtina! My greatest birthday wish for you is that you sing Happy Birthday to yourself.
No one has claimed the Mega Millions yet. I'm going over to check Mama’s couch cushions before work.
My co-host today is Julia Roberts! Fun Fact: "Julia Roberts" is the alias I use when I check-in to hotels.
These toys are the coolest of the year, and I tested them with the smartest kid in the universe (unconfirmed). http://t.co/6wkLoJLIiJ
Glad I could introduce @Uber to my audience. I'm a big fan. Every morning I send one to the bar to pick up my writers.
By entering here, you could win $10,000 & a Nest thermostat, which may just be the coolest new product on the planet. http://t.co/nNvzV9uzJM
The temperature is back in the 80s in L.A. today. I'll tell you, that was a brutal winter.
Hollywood lost an icon yesterday. Peter O'Toole was one of the best. I'm so glad I got to meet him.
.@KingsOfLeon were so good on SNL. Tmrw's their daytime TV debut on my show! I told em its just like nighttime but the after party is brunch