Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, an1
What do you call a woman walking around in the cold singing? Carol. #ClassicJokeWednesday
How did we live before we could change the temperature from our phone? Portia just adjusted her sweater. I bet she's hot. I'll change it.
I did it! Wait, now it's too cold. Hold on. Let me see if I can change it.
I just got a Nest Learning Thermostat. So far, I love it! You can change the temperature from your phone! Hold on. It's a little too hot.
What's blue and fluffy? A pink fluff holding its breath. #ClassicJokeWednesday
Spent last night at a glamorous Hollywood party. Just kidding, I watched The Voice with a hot potato on my ... https://t.co/bdPcjGC0yf
24 million followers! If we were a country, we'd be the 50th largest on Earth. And our flag would be a classic joke and a kitty cat.
This is the part of the day when one of my Twitter followers wins prizes from Day 4 of 12 Days. Who wants in? http://t.co/P5DiuIdqXo
Who doesn't love good advice? Especially when it comes from an adorable 5-year-old astronomy genius. http://t.co/pqxfWR4dR9