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Whitney Cummings
@WhitneyCummings
don't fall in love with me
@ChelseaVPeretti @danlevy @moshekasher no thanks on the airport I'm not that desperate to be your friend
RT @ginnygoodwin: My thoughts and prayers are with you, #Oklahoma. Twitter friends, let's help by texting REDCROSS to 90999.
I'll be performing in Tempe Arizona June 13 and 14. http://t.co/E6mSGiXnsl
I'll be at the comedy store in hollywood tonight
RT @lubelluledotcom: @WhitneyCummings Your show was excellent showing strong women who didn't live for marriage, the quirkiness in humans, …
Your Starbucks order is ridiculous
This is why they hate us http://t.co/ntZCRN7vay
Tonight-Comedy Cellar in New York City
RT @tempeimprov: *JUST ANNOUNCED* @WhitneyCummings will be at the club for 2 NIGHTS ONLY June 14 & 15th! These tix will sell out! -> http:…
This Friday and Saturday night ill be at the Comedy Cellar in NYC lets get sensual
Tonight in LA ill be at the comedy store at 9 and the laugh factory at 10
Guys, not sure why you still haven't realized that "I'm too lazy to cheat on you" doesn't end a fight. It just starts a new fight.
Vine is really helpful in giving us a heads up on who should never be parents
RT @BethBehrs: Season Finale of 2 Broke Girls tonight big surprise at the end...you're not gonna want to miss it!!!!
RT @OfficialKat 10: 9pm on CBS: the SEASON FINALE OF 2 BROKE GIRLS! Trust me, you don't want to miss this one. Max and Caroline solve a myster…
You guys, "selfie" is a word now that we just use like its okay or something
When Vine freezes its just fucking Instagram
They make band aids that look like strips of bacon but they still don't make black ones?
Hotel gyms are a great way to see whose going through a divorce
Vine? are you fucking kidding?
Don't tweet your latte thanks
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