don't fall in love with me
Tonight watch my future ex fiancée @chrisdelia crush his one hour special on Comedy Central. Called "white male black comic" at 12/11c time
I know guys love when we leave our shoes on during sex so let's compromise and how about you let me wear Crocs?
If you have to cup your phone when you scroll through your photos, kill yourself
If all the girls you follow on instagram are private, you should never be a father but chances are you will be one very soon