I can count to purple backwards. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
How my Friday night is going so far... ME: Thanks for inviting me to dinner! AUNT: You're over 30. Let's talk about freezing your eggs.
OH: "From teaching improv in Dubai, I've gotten to know a lot of Russian models."
Don't tease. RT @simonpegg: Whales extinct prior to the Nero time split & probe is still heading towards earth in nuTrek. Voyage Home 2 next
Success is never having to take a Southwest flight that's longer than 45mins.
I've been gone from LA for 2 weeks, and I swear the cop cars at LAX have jumped 20 years in the future. #lookingfancy
Just walked 15mins in the opposite direction from my gate at Chicago Midway to get froyo. The first step is admitting you have a problem...
Goodbye, Alabama. You were fun. And never before have I seen so many dead armadillos on the side of the road.