I can count to purple backwards. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
I never have more anxiety about getting into a car accident than in the first 20mins after washing my car.
Justin Timberlake's attempt at country music is better than Justin Timberlake's attempt at any music this whole year. #drinkyouaway
Waited for a parking spot after a guy got in his car. He didn't move so I asked if he's leaving. He said "Yea, give me a sec. I'm tweeting."
How do I explain to the girl who just walked out of her apartment in a full sequined dress that it's 1pm on a Tuesday and not New Years Eve?
The only thing I've eaten today is a York Peppermint Patty so I'm gonna go ahead and consider this a win.
Why my pro career never took off. RT @AliMinus20: ...it was only the foul shooting fund raiser. I made 29 baskets out of a 100.
While I was in Afghanistan this past week, I got to fly in a Chinook with my feet dangling off the back. I'm on the … http://t.co/acExwjqGZJ
"She's a cold-hearted snake..." RT @AliMinus20: (Dec 14) Dear Diary, I dumped Whitt.
Spent the last week with Washington Nationals' Adam LaRoche on this USO tour, and this is the gift he's left me with: http://t.co/iK3hKCFdt3