Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billion1
My goal was to accomplish nothing today, which I succeeded to do, which means I didn't meet my goal and I'll have to try again tomorrow.
TV show idea: A modern-day Hogan's Heroes but with Justin Bieber's monkey.
Amazing statistic. One out of every fifteen American adults is in Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros.
A new study from Carnegie Mellon says our digital devices are making us all dumber. LOLZ!
URGENT! IF MY BOSS ASKS YOU IF IT'S REALLY "NATIONAL THROW YOUR COFFEE AT YOUR BOSS DAY" PLEASE SAY YES.
Tonight's insomnia is brought to you by the thought of tiny clowns climbing on the ceiling. Also, http://t.co/1cygSXoyMc.
Nice review of my latest Darth Vader comic book: http://t.co/2LfauOw0r7
What's the one thing people love more than fast cars? Puppies. (unveils "Fast & Fur-ious 7" poster, accepts Gatorade bath)
Just how ugly must these Daft Punk guys be? I mean, even Steve Buscemi gets to walk around without a helmet sometimes.
My newest million dollar idea involves crowdsourcing. So, who has a million dollar idea for me?
The next logical step is to have someone make a Life On Mars video while on a one-way mission to Mars. I nominate Coldplay.
Just achieved total enlightenment and, to be honest, it wasn't worth the extra effort. I give it three stars out of five.
Now that I'm at 666,666 followers, I can finally reveal my true identity and motive. I'm a mommyblogger here to sell you cookware.
Working remotely from home today because it's a million times easier to sleep when co-workers aren't around.
Happy birthday, Bono. I was hoping to give you a gift today but I still haven't found what I'm looking for (Snoopy tie).