Demotivational speaker / Not cindy crawford
I get protocol. But holy fucking shit if I don't want 30 minutes for some late, connecting POS every fucking flight
Been staring at my plane from the gate for 35 minutes since they can't open the door and all. Fuck you.
Level 10 meltdown happening at the airport come with your video cameras because Chrissy is about to get arrested
3x a week I pray to baby Jesus my flight is cancelled. Only now when I am going for pleasure times...sigh. Who wants to party in Charlotte?
fucking shit you piece of garbage laguardia your love for LA worthy runway traffic made me miss my connection now I'm sleeping in charlotte
La Guardia airport bar only serves booze after 8am. Don't embarrass yourself. You're welcome.
you look like you're wanted for something and it's sure not sex. RT @olsonmr sorry your show sucks. Wahhhhh
oh i am sooooo sorry you can't function like a normal human being when there are tweets not about basketball on your timeline fucking wahhh
i cried when @aspenbrandylea cried. i have feelings. my heart is slate gray, not black.
i cannot properly say the only word i had to say every single episode: "deliberation".
i would have stuck my finger in a shark's anus before I would ever cut the heads off frozen, pregnant rats. #modelemployee
i was just gonna talk about the sharks but i typed shart and now who cares because shart is hilarious fuck sharks
i would like to announce that i chose my dress based on the fact that it was wetsuit material because i am extremely clever #modelemployee