Demotivational speaker / Not cindy crawford
.@JuddApatow I woke up with 400 dollars cash and no ATM withdrawals.
the brick chicken recipe (my last RT) is one of our household favorites and so, so easy so fucking do it okay enjoy!
Thanks for putting up with my complaining today. You have been my only buddies.
What's the point of a skytrain that dumps u as far away from your destination as possible? How does this even happen? Is there a secret map?
dartboards, legos and sheer carelessness were key players in the design of the Miami airport.
Now flying to Miami. No one wants to wear their headphones, they would much prefer them around their necks, blasting, cause that's cool.
This chick has been face timing her boyfriend / fixing her hair for 40 minutes. They say nothing. Just stare. http://t.co/IE5B5ZznMb
I swear to god 90% of the people I block have just tweeted something to espn or skip bayless.
Flying private would be like 40,000 for one way. That is some jay z shit. Or joe francis but we know what happens on his flights.
Why the fuck do you guys respond to my airport anger tweets with "just fly private"?? Do you have any idea how much that costs? Any?
Not saying I think you're insane if u are an adult with a stuffed animal or personal giant pillow on your flight but please unfollow me
I have a ball of anger vomit in my throat that can only be cleared with tequila
God I wish I wasn't me and I was live tweeting someone else's bullshit airport meltdown. I was next level.
Wait*. Now my bags are gone. Oh la guardia you are a fucking piece of work aren't you
I get protocol. But holy fucking shit if I don't want 30 minutes for some late, connecting POS every fucking flight