America or Burst
Sometimes I take photos of people other than myself. I exclude myself from the photo completely! #anthropologist
Parents will breathlessly, relentlessly quote their kids as if it's the best TV show you've never seen.
Look, you could spend an hour making garlic bread, or you could buy garlic bread-flavored Lays and have it be not at all good or the same.
If you're gonna rip off Dan Clowes, you have to be subtle like the rest of us!
I've been trying to write a Mariah/Hobbit "The Emancipation of Smaug" joke for a week now. It's not gonna happen.
Parenting is hard. My finger is calloused from hitting "play" on DVDs all weekend. :(
For Christmas, I would like smaller feet, higher boobs, and an earthy, knowing laugh that charms everyone within earshot.
Whatever, guys, I dropped a whole MOVIE without anyone knowing about it.
Rob Lowe deserves the Golden Globe for :47-:52 alone: http://t.co/mpdALdvF1U
The rom-com hero/ine is always awkward & insecure (i.e., author surrogate). Someone needs to subvert this. (Not me, I'm tired.)
Will I regret a "POWER BOTTOM" tramp stamp, or is it a timeless investment piece?