Brand new DVD 'Laughing and Joking' out now: http://t.co/A7602k4D1c
Derek will probably try to say there were dark forces at work. Yeah either that or you didn’t have your lights on.
No one is suggesting Derek crashed because of drink. Those evil spirits can overwhelm you. Especially on an empty stomach.
Derek Acorah was arrested for careless driving but wasn’t hurt. Someone must have been watching over him. Yeah CCTV cameras.
Mcfly and Busted are merging to make McBusted. They are basically the band equivalent of a cut and shut.
“If these players are found guilty of match fixing, they should be banned for life”. Life? I think up to 40 would probably do it.
Amy and Joey Essex say they are now a couple. I would say ‘it’s about time’, but Joey wouldn’t understand what that means.
Hanging with @Dynamomagician - he's incredible - Happy Birthday Dude. Keep Blowing Minds.
Justin Bieber has called one of his fans a ‘beached whale’. That has got to hurt. Especially if she was standing on his foot.
X Factor winner Sam Bailey said she plans to resign from her job this week. Ok, or maybe take some holiday and see how it goes?
Sam Bailey said she tried X Factor in 2007 but didn’t get through as she had no sob story. That’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard.
An extra show in Sydney has been added on Saturday 1st Feb 2014. The pre-sale starts now: http://t.co/uix9kef7us
Liberty of London is supposed to be entertaining TV but is just an advert. Anyway about my new DVD.....
Brand new Funny Business tour dates have been added Southampton, Cheltenham & Northampton! http://t.co/t03E49iiwC
People were shocked when the Pope said he’d been a door man. I'd be more surprised if he'd come out as a boob man.
I think the bobble head looks better than I do. http://t.co/pxtdJztQYv
A man has been convicted with having sex with a goat. I’m guessing it gave him the horn.
1883 Happy birthday Clarence Birdseye. The original Captain Birdseye. He loved kids, and had fish fingers. Someone call Yewtree.
Kirk Douglas is 97. He can’t believe there are so many candles on his cake. That’s not a cake Kirk. That’s a crematorium.
I’ll admit women moan less about coughs and cold than men. But what we've got isn't a cold. It's flu.
Happy birthday John Milton. I had to study Paradise Lost at school. It was hellish.