Joel David Moore
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Yes world peace and equal rights and such but first BRING BACK BEAN BAG CHAIRS.
I hope Angelina kept her old boobs so she can look back at all the old mammaries.
Ugh, the ONE time I didn’t play my Twitter password. “@AP: BREAKING: Winning Powerball numbers are 10-13-14-22-52 Powerball number of 11.”
MY GOD WHO ARE THESE TEST SUBJECTS? “@OMGFacts: Blindfolded people can rarely tell the difference between the taste of Parmesan and vomit!”
I think it’s funny that KNIVES are called CUTlery haha oh wait spoons
RT @EliBraden: Q: Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side? A: Wait I fucked that up
Modern Truth: through all education levels, you’re only as smart as your last iPhone autocorrect mistake.
RT @ScottLinnen: The first rule of Culture Club is, 1) Do you really want to hurt me?
If I had a Chinese coin for every time my grampa tried to pass down his wood grinding factory I’d be a mill Yuan heir.
This has got to be the greatest back to back playoff game 1’s in history. #nba