i require ham.
Sunset today is at 3:50pm. Apparently we're leaned away from the nearest star up there and it affects the light and weather?
Working on this "end zone/Friendzone" smack talk burn for Monday Night Football. It's gonna be SICK!
I DELETE ANY EMAIL SENT TO ME THAT ISN'T IN 12-POINT HELVETICA, NO EXCEPTIONS! I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND HERE!!
Did you head about the pop star who excels at fencing? Katy Parry. High five? Anyone?
Thought I had a handle on the whole "Jack the Ripper" mystery, but new evidence suggests his name might not actually have been Jack. BRB.
Doctor Who sn 4 ep 2 guest stars both Karen Gillan (Amelia Pond) and Peter Capaldi (the Doctor) years before their real characters appear.
My wife's worst fears: 1) the salad dressing is already mixed in 2) the soup of the day is cream-based 3) only whole milk for cappuccinos
Decided I'll solve the Jack the Ripper crimes. 50 pages into a book I found. I should have it all wrapped up this evening. Will advise.
I'M LISTENING LIVE TO THE WORLD CUP DRAW AND I DONT HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING!!!
I have 20 minutes to kill can everyone please tweet their best material right now so I don't miss it later thanks okay bye.
Wait, what am I supposed to do if we drive side by side on a highway in the beehive state, again?
If you're THIS angry at me eulogizing your grandma as my "sweet reverse cowgirl," you're going to HATE the video tribute I prepared.
Yeah me too! Sunrise over London this morning. http://t.co/BWoafZ6Upq