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blink-182 x Brandon Heart. For Oklahoma. http://t.co/zAQ02ssAk6
IT'S BEEN BUGGING ME FOR WEEKS! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING JON SNOW DID WITH HIS MOUTH?!
Vote now to save the rhinos! Do as I command! http://t.co/S0H2Wliypf
I need a Chun-Li in the streets and an E. Honda in the sheets.
Wind chimes are bullshit.
Because of the time difference, my morning is everyone else's drunken meltdown. I feel left out.
I'm initiating a hostile takeover. In my pants.
wait. are we all quitting tumblr over some arbitrary fake outrage or not? i'm so confused.
RT @meganamram: ***PLEASE HELP: LOST MASKING TAPE*** http://t.co/zAZ8bpGTvg
batman cannot wait for the party this weekend to use his "Bane is the bane of my existence" line on the ladies.
there was a typo in that last tweet. thanks to everyone who took time out their day to point that out. you are the real heroes.
husbands, commit a unrequested act of complete kindness for your wife now and then, so you can mercilessly lord it over her for months.
my outgoing voicemail message is just me laughing hysterically at you for thinking people still listen to voicemails.
new vampire weekend album is great.
Horrible, awful, heartbreaking news about Oklahoma. So terrible. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Okay I'm all caught up on all 7 seasons of Doctor Who you can all now talk about it without fear of spoiling anything for me thanks.
Your underwear smells like someone threw up steamed broccoli and corn nuts.
They sentence people to home arrest as PUNISHMENT?! YGBFKM! Music. Video games. Caddyshack. Delivered food. Interweb.
My wife has a bottomless hole in her heart that she keeps trying to fill with decorative throw pillows.
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