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Morgan Murphy
@morgan_murphy
i like: boxing. whiskey. naps. documentaries. also a writer and perfo1
I knew I came to the UK for a higher purpose. This comes out here today: http://t.co/8HYsXSyx cc: @campsucks @molls & anyone who might care
I know that terrible things are happening in the world but the two people openly fucking at this bar in Mexico don't seem to mind.
RT @PeteDominick: One time I was driving @morgan_murphy home from a gig & we ran out of gas.I promised her 1 day Id apologize on twitter.
@RayChewLive nice sitting next to you, Ray. Viva Mexico. http://t.co/EZNPc23zQv
@nealbrennan 21 @blakegriffin32 3 took this pic with Chris Paul after we were on the same flight to Mexico. I'm retarded. http://t.co/Il4Xnp7zLK
I think everyone I know is hanging out with Skrillex tonight. Anywho...this laundry isn't gonna fold itself.
Packing for my trip to Mexico tomorrow. How many ounces of heroin does the TSA let you have in your butt?
the people who write "first" on message threads have never been first at anything.
"Is that twerking?" - my 42-year-old white guy friend watching Nicki Minaj
don't boo Justin Bieber and cheer for Chris Brown, you dummies. #BillboardMusicAwards
My friend just said that Ed Sheeran sounds like Tracy Chapman and nobody has ever been more right.
so all I can figure out is that the big thing in music is boys who look like girls and girls who look like women.
The Billboard Music Awards are my favorite part of #ComedyWeek.
Thanks to everyone who came to my tapings last night. Sorry to the 7pm show that I was nervous. Congrats to the 9pm show that I was drunk.
RT @carlreiner: I recommend that Mon nite, at 9PM you record Dancing with the Stars and watch Mel Brooks on Amer Masters.Mel is 1000 times…
The east coast should change its name to the spoiler alert coast am I right or am I right
starting to regret this tattoo of Sisqo's autograph across my cleavage.
the lyrics to this Selena Gomez song might as well be, "You're so fucking old, Morgan"
anyone know what kind of pot goes best with the billboard music awards? cuz this one isn't it.
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