Morgan Murphy
@morgan_murphy
i like: boxing. whiskey. naps. documentaries. also a writer and perfo1
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RT @perlapell: Who wants to take a morning run along the Hudson tomorrow with me? I'll meet you at Zero O'clock at the corner of Bitch and Please.
any wedding with more than 100 guests should just be called a divorce.
RT @Mohr_Quotes: How do you think @amyschumer 16's impression of @Morgan_Murphy was? #Mohrstories #dinklage
Hey girls without cellulite, stop vacationing next to me.
RT @marcmaron 18: fyi. Bob Goldthwait directed tnite's @MaronIFC #maron
I would give all my money if everyone I know, for follow friday, posted five people they've made out with.
Told some young female comics what Jerry Lewis said & they didn't care. Also they thought Jerry Lewis was an open mic comic from Alhambra.
Lots of Mexico pics on my Instagram. Honestly, I love it here so much I might even stay happy for 2 to 3 days after I get back.
the sound of the ocean in Mexico is a far cry from what I usually fall asleep to in LA: far cries.
RT @M_Hedberg: A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
my new friends are better than your new friends. #sayulita #mexico #perfecto http://t.co/fF1nSLSlFg
If Jerry Lewis thinks women aren't funny he clearly doesn't read every 17th tweet of mine.
I'm in Mexico. There's a big fire on the side of the road. A guy in a VW Beetle is assessing the situation so no need to worry.
I did @jaymohr37 4's podcast. you can listen to it. technology is crazy! http://t.co/Kbp6ypdvzL
"if your son is gonna be molested in the woods, it's gonna be by a heterosexual, dammit!" - Boy Scouts of America
my mom is a broke narcissist so don't tell me I've never raised a teenager.
@shanenickerson my mom's mug arrived. she still loves it. thank you! http://t.co/uyF9YaDe2I
.@tommyjohnagin that was clearly his request from the "make a swish" foundation.
United States
India
United kingdom
Canada
Australia
Brazil




