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Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt Patton Oswalt

@pattonoswalt

Mr. Oswalt is a former wedding deejay from Northern Virginia.

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RT @RiotLA: @pattonoswalt is bringing some awesome friends to @RiotLA http://t.co/sKdufxAg Early Bird passes are just $45 for the whole ...

9 months ago
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I have 1 more show to do & I already miss Portland. #pancakes #strippers

Portland you are fun. Day and night. Sleep now, then pancakes.

There was a rainbow on the way to my show at The Helium in Portland. I hope it wasn't meant ironically.

RT @evilgeeks: @pattonoswalt Thanks for the AWESOME show at the Fake Gallery tonight! http://t.co/Xrec1CCzmL

"I could make a MUCH nicer totem pole of dead bodies..." Martha Stewart, watching the opening of tonight's @NBCHannibal

RT @Flanazon: @pattonoswalt Do you remember this gem? I can't wait to read it. ;-) #giantwomen http://t.co/WLlaCAaWWV

RT @scottEweinberg: Please don't start listing funny women. Jerry Lewis is feeble-minded.

James Bond will return in SERIOUSLY, MY BALLS STILL HURT FROM THAT CASINO ROYALE ROPE-TORTURE BUSINESS.

What's this about Jerry Lewis saying women aren't fleeben flayvin hoygle blev (dies)?

RT @SnarkOnTap: Why is Tyler Perry heckling the President?

Wait -- did Tyler Perry heckle Obama? In his Madea costume? Wow, that's...oh, it was @medeabenjamin? Huh. Oh well.

Only thing worse than hecklers is when the club takes their side. An INFURIATING account from @walkinsauce: http://t.co/GSzn2CBwgF

RT @Puddinstrip: my mom was right, when it comes to my suicidal threats I'm SUCH a GG Allin

RT @TheWebbyAwards: Plans tonight? Now you have them - Watch the 17th Annual Webby Awards hosted by @pattonoswalt http://t.co/d3DCAXo1oD #w

Very proud of my Critic's Choice Award nom. But I SINCERELY want Molly Shannon to win in my category. 'Cuz she crushed on ENLIGHTENED.

RT @JennyJohnsonHi5 15: Just ran into this grumpy fucker at LAX. @pattonoswalt http://t.co/uICVSka94D

"As you wish" -- Boba Fett, EMPIRE STRIKES BACK; Westley and The Grandfather, PRINCESS BRIDE

RT @grahamclark: Wife Swamp

"Scotch." "Performance tea." Why argue semantics? #Webbys

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marc maron
marcmaron  marc maron
I am a comic and a feral cat..
101 Tweets exchanged
Colin Quinn
iamcolinquinn  Colin Quinn
comedian TweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwood
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Danny Zuker
DannyZuker  Danny Zuker
Writer/Exec Producer on ABC'.. TweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwoodTweetwood
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Warren Ellis
warrenellis  Warren Ellis
English Writer. Not Australi..
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