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Patton Oswalt
@pattonoswalt
Mr. Oswalt is a former wedding deejay from Northern Virginia.
Seriously, what in the FUCK is the deal with the weirdos at @puddinstrip: http://t.co/6n7uFdI0
Hey Hollywood -- Hans Brinker but he's grown up and his skates are razors and he fights yetis. DM me, @RyanGosling.
Sweet dreams, @bouzagloabc. You are God's grace incarnate. Ignore the CUNT-COCK TURD FAGGOT PISS-FUCKERS on the internet. Amen.
"Moster Poster run Twittertown." -- from MAD MAX: BEYOND INSTAGRAM
Hey guys, @se4realhinton is Tweeting about the inspirations for her books. The Motorcycle Boy scoop she just dropped blew my mind.
RT @se4realhinton: @pattonoswalt @rthompson1138 And The Outsiders was written by a teen-age girl on chocolate cake!
This photo essay on teenage freight train hitchhikers will shake you up: http://t.co/2vPLwOdSm1
Dear @BoyGeorge: Are you EVER going to publicly respond to Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Girl George" slam from 1985's COMMANDO?
(2 of 2) ...that said, Sinclair's description of Thatcher's twilight years as "more mask than meat"? PERFECTION. So there.
(1 of 2). Shit, it WAS a Borges quote. Sinclair was referencing him, not plagiarizing. I'm too un-read to know the difference...
Iain Sinclair's description of the Falklands War as "...two bald men fighting over a comb" in the May 9th @LRB? Gorgeous.
Whoever designed the lighting in my hotel's restaurant was a big fan of Ralph Ellison's INVISIBLE MAN: http://t.co/bSOBMZ7dOt
If I can just make it to 9pm, New York, I'm gonna sleep the fuck out of this Saturday night. #jetlag
Really? The guy who animated my rant has LESS than 60 followers? This will not stand. Follow @izacless. HEAR ME, MINIONS!
This was bound to happen. My Parks and Recreation STAR WARS filibuster, animated. Thank you, @izacless: http://t.co/1kLccFVoHt
Never forget: FRANKENSTEIN was written by a teenage girl on absinthe & DRACULA by an Irish dude who had a nightmare after eating bad crab.
Dear @BryanFuller & @WendellPierce: HANNIBAL takes place in Baltimore. No reason there can't be a Det. Bunk cameo.
Only 20 years 'til the Hogan's Heroes-style sitcom set in Gitmo.
I've decided I want my daughter to be a goth: http://t.co/S6Qd2KrJyO
Dear @nbc: Don't let @NBCHannibal slip through your fingers. Renew it. You'll kick yourself when it's gone.
Just farted.
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