Mr. Oswalt is a former wedding deejay from Northern Virginia.
I walked 10 blocks in NYC today which means I was in 20 Gaspar Noé short films today.
RT @ShittingtonUK: "Daddy, are you cool?" "Haha! Isaiah, that's a rad question. Pause Veggie Tales and let's talk about the coolest guy who…
RT @glenna_opt: no YOU'RE taking a pregnancy test in an ihop bathroom
Yeah, I'm RT'ing a lot of funny people. The news out of Oklahoma keeps getting worse so this is how I cope. Sorry. REDCROSS to 90999
RT @rachow: The key to staying thin is, instead of three regular meals, throw up six smaller meals throughout the day.
RT @charstarlene: "Time is so crazy. What is time? It passes and before you know it, you die alone," I said. "Your pizza isn't ready yet," …
RT @GerryDuggan: “The guy we’re after is real crafty.” - Jerry Orbach, standing over a vajazzled Law & Order victim
Hunker down, Oklahoma. Sorry you're going through this. It's this random, wild planet. REDCROSS to 90999
"Why am I surrounded by lighting right now?" -- Robby Krieger. #RIPManzarek Seriously, "Crystal Ship" is one of my favorites, ever.
Wow. Jimmy Connors trying to shame Chris Evert for having an abortion is so lame even assholes feel sorry for him.
When Oscar Wilde toured the U.S. in 1882, he was mocked by Harvard students in Boston & cheered by silver miners in Colorado.