Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Get my new game, War of Words, at ht1
NYC • 3 days left in auction to hang out w/ me, see my show, drink lots, help pay a nice woman’s medical bills: http://t.co/p7czQ8ZrY2
NYC • 3 days left in auction to hang out w/ me, see my show, drink lots, help pay a nice woman’s medical bills: http://t.co/ArrprGJs6G
Finally found my wife’s clitoris! It’s in her coffin with the rest of her.
RT @leyawn: i hope every one is trying their best online today but also having fun
I just discovered Jenna Marbles. I think she’s cool. Like a gateway drug for girls to think about bigger ideas. 👍
RT @FourEyedQueef: get out of a ticket by telling the officer you were busy breastfeeding yourself
I’m 55 hrs or so off coffee. (Insane amounts of it too, all day, every day.) Shockingly no headaches. I feel sad & tired & mumbly.
Just saw an old woman trip over a dog’s leash and fall into the path of a bus. #EpicFail!