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Rob Delaney
@robdelaney
Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Get my new game, War of Words, at ht1
.@MittRomney I get that people are upset that the GOP doesn’t want poors & browns to vote but they’ll still have American Idol, so chillax!
RT @youngajs: @robdelaney that doesn't happen
Heart-wrenching scene in new Fast & Furious when Vin Diesel docks with Paul Walker & cum blasts him out of the flaming wreckage of a Viper.
LA • I’ll be on @heidiandfrank on 95.5 at 8:30. That’s in 8 minutes.
I’m hairy and I like to fart.
Jocasta was a MOLF.
Big #ff here: @cogentanalysis. Funny, supple, rhythmic.
#BSBBC RT @intelligencer: Butt-Shooting Bloomberg Bodyguard Convicted http://t.co/iekVSUuW3I
Billy Joel gathering inspiration to write his next hit. RT @BestOfOzGuillen: http://t.co/OdRhjuUtGC
i tried to see a boob
I guess the @QOTSA show was good… IF YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR FACE RIPPED OFF AND STUFFED UP YOUR BUTTHOLE BY BOTH ROCK *AND* ROLL.
RT @cogentanalysis: @robdelaney This is what a feminist looks like *flexes hairy jacked rippling quads, unleashes a belch that shakes the f…
Just looked at the word “Austin” and thought it said “Autism.” But nope, it was “Austin.” I’m just crying really hard.
Terrorists are good at terror, but that’s it. Any sense their lil’ cause might make goes right in the toilet. So disingenuous. #fart
Off to @QOTSA. My jeans are tight as fuck. Hope I get fingered tonight. Watch the show here: http://t.co/XWcUL00GHe
BREAKING: Jerry Lewis shits gently into his diaper, doesn’t notice.
RT @shereenTshafi: Gitmo & PATRIOT Act must make them overjoyed then RT @CesarConda: "terrorists hate us because we are free, not bc of our…
In his defense, Lucille Ball did invent muscular dystrophy RT @AP: Jerry Lewis repeats his distaste for female comics http://t.co/4IaS7BRNfs
No shit. Worst tweet ever. RT @latimes: Repairs of iPhone 5 more expensive than for earlier iPhones http://t.co/gb46oOdJs7
Check this old couch I used to have: http://t.co/CuH9n2zEbF
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