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Rob Delaney
@robdelaney
Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Get my new game, War of Words, at ht1
.@MittRomney help a brown gay used a door handel before me & now i am afraid to touch it i am traped in bathroom at mall
Get to know @dril.
Before @qotsa last night, the brilliant @AlainJohannes played this Desert Sessions classic: http://t.co/gPiGB9Gv4R I flipped.
RT @GQMagazine: Find out why Yawning Man and @HighonFireBand are essential to @RobDelaney: http://t.co/3luUvPQb5T
RT @John_C_Reilly: Magic is fascinating, its so entertaining
.@HBO Can you vaccinate yourself from herpes if you rub an “Entourage” DVD on your privates?
How bad ass are those dudes who have a fake plastic mohawk on the outside of their motorcycle helmet? A million.
How bad ass are those dudes who have a fake plastic mohawk on the outside if their motorcycle helmet? A million.
This billboard is a liar. Hate that they own that domain too. RT @ToddGlass 3: http://t.co/DohNGYJ96p
.@twitter The spam diet/Kardashian @ replies I get after I send a tweet are nuts. Any plan for that? Other people get em?
AT LEAST once a week I piss into a bottle or cup in my car. I live a full life & I refuse to slow down.
HOLY SHIT. RT @JoeJeffrey1: @robdelaney Rob, we need your help determining who goes first? @OG_SM http://t.co/ztRann2odO
Sickening. Junkies in my community vandalize produce to take pot. #420NO http://t.co/HqmpAIoQAg
Often I’m the recipient on-line of the insult “fat.” But the joke’s on you, because I’m quite #muscular & children & animals admire me.
.@Yoplait Your slogan should be “Yogurt: it’s not just about taking a shit.”
RT @realDonaldTrump 76: @dannyzuker I hope you pick up a lot of twitter followers by this so people can see what a total asshole you are!
One cool part of QOTSA show last night was seeing Trent Reznor & Jack White in the audience watching rapt like every other fan.
.@TheRock 4 Please RT: https://t.co/dI3kABh9ow #cinema
#HERO RT @THR: @JimmyKimmel Revealed as Buyer of $1.9 Million Bea Arthur Nude Painting http://t.co/Py8Ltzd7TN
RT @bradleywayne_: @robdelaney I don't know if you actually know how to party Rob https://t.co/Qa41riTZ8r
Three day weekend in the chamber. Or “threekend,” if you will. More like “freak end” the way I do it!! #party #NoRules #USA #hanjob
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