Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Watch my hour special ROB DELANEY LI1
Having a big beard but no mustache is an effective way to let people know you've killed a dog with a shovel.
I think I speak for all black people when I say that Paula Deen's butter-based diabetes delivery dishes are tastier than racism is "bad."
"There's more where that came from..." *points to pænnùs, smiles, falls down flight of stairs, transforms into loaf of bread with Steve Harv
Halfway to my pilates class before I realized I'd put on my mom's jorts this morning.
I don't have a ruler, but I'd estimate the hair I just pulled out of my nostril was 23 feet long.
The Cheesecake Factory's mascot should be a 400 lb. clown chasing a schoolbus with a bloody axe.
Not a joke: I'm about to do a set at the Laugh Factory & Steve Wozniak just rode up to the club on a Segway & sat in the 3rd row.