Rob Delaney
@robdelaney
Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Get my new game, War of Words, at ht1
.@MittRomney do u have a favorite blog about wheat thins?
.@MittRomney 294 Have you thought about doing a podcast?
Jahar-Jahar Binks?
You’re a soft G, bro.
I wear makeup.
What’s next, the nerd who invented the microwave is gonna tell me to call my mom my dad? #NOBAMA
RT @NicCageMatch: If you run out of tampons you can just use a baby squid
.@PeTA My neighbour Sarah McLachlan is selling “pupcakes” (cupcakes made of puppy meat) out of her Subaru. What should I sing at her?
RT @PeterKnight71: Pretty sure Chris McCandless would not have had to go "Into The Wild" to discover his authentic self if there had been T…
.@ZacEfron 28 my wife got her 3rd late fine this month from the library .i can’t live this way. wanna grab a yogurt?
RT @meganamram 14: .@MNightShyamalan ***PLEASE RT*** LOST MASKING TAPE: https://t.co/RJi2kOUD2k
I bet it smelled awful in the Love Shack.
“It’s fun to wear bracelets!” - Johnny Depp
@Vicdashian Thank you!
RT @Large_Soda: @robdelaney He was in Aerosmith shithead.
Some great shootings in these! RT @NRA: Coolest #gun movies http://t.co/MUpoRQSdSf What do you think? #NRA
Kudos to my wife Leah for making some fascinating #smells this morning.
#NYC - Come to my shows. No Mexicans. Tickets: http://t.co/Hk0f1pwu8s 🚂
I want to get to know your mom.
Follow @MmeSurly & @diaper_wolf or I will fart all over the place.
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