Rob Delaney
@robdelaney
Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Get my new game, War of Words, at ht1
.@MittRomney Mitt, my computer’s searching engine (Yahoo!) got a new lady CEO. Will I have to pay for her birth control? #FullRepeal
When a bird poops on you, it’s also peeing on you, because they do both at the same time. So remember: you’re a TOTAL bird toilet.
RT @bettyaberlin: @robdelaney see photo caption: http://t.co/OwDc7YCZix
RT @Boywhiz88: .@robdelaney Headline should read "Western & Southern Insurance Beats Abused Women"
Consider writing Western & Southern Insurance to congratulate them on their victory over the women of Cincinnati? http://t.co/2m77UXYZzy
RT @Yahoo: A Fortune 500 company wins a battle to turn a 104-year-old shelter for women in Cincinnati into a boutique hotel: http://t.co/OJ…
RT @whatifjus: What is wrong in your live @frankieboyle 10 http://t.co/mfhZj0ObYR
RT @BoobsRadley: I think a funny thing to send your kids from your vacation is a post card that says "Wish you were here!" with a picture o…
ALERT: The sword joke I posted had been done by @BoobsRadley. I deleted mine & wired her £700.
Pain is weakness leaving the body. Or a sword entering it.
RT @KevinOfMI: This week's episode of @Wits with @NekoCase and @robdelaney is probably their best so far. @tunein http://t.co/khZKhnnfPW
RT @arealpoy: @robdelaney i just realized that you were kidding here. right?
Zoom in on pic to enjoy & appreciate the game pieces of my new boardgame: http://t.co/eiMNQNQRkP http://t.co/pfatgeA8Cm
RT @HipsterrBilly: @robdelaney are you angry he didn't invite you to the #HipHopBarbacue
I get a sexual rush from blocking people who tweet about brunch.
NYC • 3 days left in auction to hang out w/ me, see my show, drink lots, help pay a nice woman’s medical bills: http://t.co/p7czQ8ZrY2
NYC • 3 days left in auction to hang out w/ me, see my show, drink lots, help pay a nice woman’s medical bills: http://t.co/ArrprGJs6G
This is chilling. #TriggerWarning RT @LibyaLiberty: The dangers of radical Islam. http://t.co/taRSFztjhj
My daughter Mona has the thickest mustache on her gymnastics team.
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