Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Buy my book, ROB DELANEY: Mother. Wif1
Funny how we agree that prejudice is "wrong," but even Nelson Mandela was like "Ha ha Amish people."
RT @BRANDONWARDELL: yo it's crazy when your power goes off and you can't stream porn so you have to jerk off to downloaded porn like a godd…
"Best of 2013" lists that don't have my book on them are embarrassing garbage.Who do these journalists" think they are?Also: I am NOT a virg
The platypus has to be the WEIRDEST looking animal I've ever gotten pregnant.
Took my niece out of my will because she made a Billy Joel joke on Twitter yesterday.
RT @boring_as_heck: Joe was really good at making movie trailers. There was just one problem *car honk* he didn't have access to the record…
¡ UK • AUS • NZ • USA ! My book is now available at every good bookstore. Sniff yours today: http://t.co/Ss5b8D9kCB
Seeing High on Fire in LA Thursday because filthy metal is important to me. @HighonFireBand.
I hate how the "World" Cup has countries other than the U.S. in it. Ever heard of the World Series, assholes? Thanks Obama.
2014 live dates - LA, Irvine CA, Kansas City, Oklahoma City: http://t.co/sNYlMW4slU