Rob Delaney
@robdelaney
Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Get my new game, War of Words, at ht1
Awesome. #humor #jokes #USA RT @TheAtlanticWire: How did Congressman work 9/11 into a contraception protest? http://t.co/Ha2d414n
It blows my mind that people walk around acting like Steve Harvey won't jump out from behind a bush at any moment & murder them.
This goes for me too, guys. RT @AmandaBynes: Believe everything I say on twitter!
... like clockwork http://t.co/Pkt6bdeFQz
RT @gewqk: @robdelaney much appreciated, dude.
Blacks start all trends. RT @TheRoot247: Did Blacks Start the Trend of Heckling Obama? http://t.co/YEnnKpFwKN
RT @Lauren_Italia22: @robdelaney Tweet more like this: https://t.co/7vNQbCQNud
@Ristolable you’re funny!
Trying to hold back from constantly tweeting fitness #tips, my true passion. I know you guys are here for f*rt jokes & #rock talk I get it.
The Bucs! ⚾RT @deniseb19: @robdelaney what NHL team you going for?
♫ Butts – Rob Delaney http://t.co/cAWM5o69bp #NowPlaying
Kudos to Trader Joe for switching from human trafficking to selling frozen pizzas & hummus.
Adults should have pubic hair. It’s in the bible maybe.
.@HomeDepot Been in your store for 30 minutes & you’ve played Nickelback twice. One more time and I shit in a washing machine.
I had sex. http://t.co/WT9f49e6iB
My son gets CRAZY excited when my wife paints her toenails. We may have a little choreographer on our hands.
RT @ParisHilton 9: Happiness has to do with your mindset, not with outside circumstance.
#NYC • I’m doing 7 shows with @saraschaefer1 & @MichelleButeau. Come to each one with a different date. Tkts: http://t.co/Ogg6n6gLa1
Edinburgh • https://t.co/pwru2L9txn 🇰🇷
RT @alexsilver44: @robdelaney Even Jan Brewer knows what's up: http://t.co/IYLqf73AyK
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