Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Buy my book, ROB DELANEY: Mother. Wif1
5 star average review with 150 reviews. WWJD for His birthday? Get this book: http://t.co/kbwfqEFK2T
If you post a photo online in which I look fat, I will have your account deleted what the hell Is wrong with you poeple
For many #teens, scrolling through my Twiter feed is the closest thing they have to a father.
I think my life started going down the toilet when I was at a Dodgers game in 1994 & they aimed the kiss-cam at me & my dad.
Well if I’m a virgin, why does my hymen look like this? *drops pants, everyone in zip code goes blind, Obama’s cries audible to Mars Rover*
If you’re under 18 I need to see a permission slip from your parents before you RT me. It’s about respect & God’s will. “Humor” comes 2nd.
RT @britmarling: A well guarded secret doesn't hurt u in the moment it's uncovered. It gets u days later. When u r testing the ripeness of …