Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Get my new game, War of Words, at ht1
Finally found my wife’s clitoris! It’s in her coffin with the rest of her.
RT @leyawn: i hope every one is trying their best online today but also having fun
I just discovered Jenna Marbles. I think she’s cool. Like a gateway drug for girls to think about bigger ideas. 👍
RT @FourEyedQueef: get out of a ticket by telling the officer you were busy breastfeeding yourself
I’m 55 hrs or so off coffee. (Insane amounts of it too, all day, every day.) Shockingly no headaches. I feel sad & tired & mumbly.
Just saw an old woman trip over a dog’s leash and fall into the path of a bus. #EpicFail!
“I’m a joker. I’m a smoker. I’m a midnight toker. I’ve gone blind. My organs are shutting down.” - if Steve Miller told the truth about #pot
I like how Obama acts like he’s “tough on terrorism” but ignores the most dangerous terrorist of all: the marijuana cigarette. #420NOBAMA