Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Buy my book, ROB DELANEY: Mother. Wif1
Got my first pic DM. Don’t be shy about sending me post-workout pics, feet, rolls, ill-fitting Spanx, etc. Y’know, the good stuff.
I just blatantly cut off a guy in a white Lexus & a cop saw & was like “Good for you. Fuck that dentist.”
Just heard a kid say "My birthday's in 4 months!" & his dad did a pretty good job of acting like he gave a shit.
Only people who aren't parents were horrified when Michael Jackson hung his baby over that balcony.
Even if I don't work at your company, I'm fucking Jan from accounting at your holiday party.
Just told my Secret Santa I murdered a plumber in Vermont in 1995 or is that not how it works?