Rob Delaney
@robdelaney
Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Get my new game, War of Words, at ht1
.@MittRomney Enjoying your campaign’s repeated “This was Mitt’s decision” line on picking Ryan. Like a fun little fairy tale!
RT @GQMagazine: .@RobDelaney tells us what keeps him tweeting and performing (and, uh, pleasuring himself) at full clip: http://t.co/3luUvP…
.@DrOz 38 @GwynethPaltrow 10 i wipe a egg mcmufin on my stuff (penis/balls) before I do sex so the women gets extra horney
David Brent! RT @HuffPostComedy: Favorite Arrested Development character... GO!
#NewYorkCity • I’m doing shows very soon. Tickets: http://t.co/fQ3X9mVsPt 🐐 RT & attend!
My wife’s Bettie Page tramp stamp looks like Danny Trejo when she forgets to shave.
Gazebos are just gay sheds.
Even my feet are bad-ass lawbreakers. #NoRules http://t.co/8ZdM8tVDTG
RT @vanillaice 5: My heart goes out to the victims, and families of the tornadoes in Oklahoma. #vanillaice
WHAT! I need this to be real. RT @simonblackwell: Time once again to post The Funniest Thing In The World. http://t.co/sUc8W6oMs9
I just wrote a song called “Please Don’t Drop Your Thermos on my Penis.” It isn’t very good.
Poster for my improv group from 2003: http://t.co/AU7eyFJEra
Ha ha @DylanhShelton is ripping the execrable @MensHumor.
Margaret Atwood tweeted at me.
RT @MargaretAtwood 3: @tinyavocados @robdelaney: What can I say? Me and tight butt on the same list? I blush modestly.
Is Laura Bush the world’s most famous goth?
You & me: http://t.co/KmLaNMK3sL
.@MargaretAtwood 3 @mastersreality @HighonFireBand @themiketimlin I list you in my 10 fave things. RT @GQMagazine: http://t.co/zrF6rMQhN5
Trouble is most moms are too lazy. RT @NYMag: Gwyneth Paltrow Says Modeling Is ‘a Perfect Job for When You Have Kids’ http://t.co/JhOqEKlONE
Just saw a sassy neck tattoo on a lad in a coffee shop. http://t.co/ge0ReeTnhP
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