Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217 lbs.
Buy my book, ROB DELANEY: Mother. Wif1
Seeing High on Fire in LA Thursday because filthy metal is important to me. @HighonFireBand.
I hate how the "World" Cup has countries other than the U.S. in it. Ever heard of the World Series, assholes? Thanks Obama.
2014 live dates - LA, Irvine CA, Kansas City, Oklahoma City: http://t.co/sNYlMW4slU
I read a little bit of the @BookOfJezebel before bed every night & it is genuinely educational & fun & good.
The very very funny @whitneystreed opened for me in Portland last night & was super-duper.
My wife doesn't want a forced vaginal ultrasound; too bad! RT @washingtonpost: Rand Paul: My wife doesn't want me to run for president.
Any good Christmas present ideas for dogs? Just kidding I'm not a very silly monster person.
Whenever I hear someone ask their dog "Who's a good boy?" I tell them about my cousin Tim, who taught horses how to read until 9/11...
I added an IndieBound button to http://t.co/Gh6V0INjG2 so it's easier to support your local independent bookstore. RT!
RT @briangaar: Sometimes I'm playing a dangerous game like Halo & people ask if I get scared but honestly no, your training just takes over