I give medicinal cocaine to baby animals
Don't NOT spray Chloraseptic in your pee hole just because I told you not to.
Had a great phone convo with a great agent here in Hollywood who is very passionate about projects and passionate about people in projects
In an Arnold Palmer is the lemonade Arnold or Palmer because I would like to order a lemonade but don't know which name to tell them to hold
Bought this at Trader Joe's. Anyone know how long to defrost? http://t.co/iGfHGoNqlf
I didn't have anything to do with the Beyonce pregnancy or lack of pregnancy.
The waterslide I built on my property is open for business! We use gray water to help the environment and boost your immune system! Come!
I propose a law that all dogs HAVE to look like this http://t.co/ly6TGYAlcb
Pull up next to a car at a light, roll down your window and say, "I just saw the ghost of an old lady in your backseat...'
Next time I walk down the street and the wind blows my shirt up a little, showing my white belly, I'm gonna kick the breeze in the dick
Whoever has that winning Powerball ticket should just be cool and throw a party for America with free booze and dolphins and Kid Rock
Hey brand new baby behind me on this plane, you got 1 second to grow some nuts and suck those titties
Repeating my mantra: Nancy Grace Nipple Slip. Nancy Grace Nipple Slip.
Your cellphone has a better personality than you and I would like to fuck it.